Book Reviews: Will Save the Galaxy for Food by Yahtzee Croshaw


If you’ve never seen Zero Punctuation but love video games, you will want to look at these reviews. They’re witty, crude and entertaining beyond any reason. They’re also, arguably, the chief culprit behind Ben ‘Yahtzee’ Croshaw’s popularity. That he makes them doesn’t harm him one bit, either.

It’s well-earned popularity. Here is a guy who delivers five to seven minutes of pure comedic gold on a weekly basis, whose audience consists of over a million subscribers.

His sharp, acerbic wit is a given in the video format — but a novel is another beast, entirely! Allow me then to offer this, a comprehensive review of Yahtzee’s third book, and the first one I got to read–or listen to, courtesy of an Audible member discount. Audible, you finally got me, you slimy sunuvagun.


The era of space pilots is over. Good riddance! Quantum Tunnelling is faster, easier, safer, cheaper. The Golden Age of Space Flight, with the antiquated heroics, the exploration and adventure that came with it are gone, and no one misses them.

No one, save for the space pilots, that is. No longer contributors to society, the space pilots are relics stuck in the past. Some of them cross the black, becoming pirates in unguarded territories. Those who have too much self-respect, those who remember the way things used to be, choose instead to become…glorified tour guides, using the old battlefield stories to earn a buck or two. If you consider this a demotion, you have no idea!

The protagonist is one such star pilot. He gives tours, has the occasional dealing with pirates, a moderate amount of trouble with the law, foams from the mouth at the mention of plagiarist pilot and author, the hated Jacques McKeown, and is friends with the proprietor of the local bar. Life isn’t easy, but it’s not complicated, either.

That is until an impeccable businesswoman approaches the protagonist and offers him an insane amount of money to impersonate someone else at an evening party. Faced with enough legal fees, he accepts despite the pricking of doubt at the back of his mind.

Imagine his surprise when he discovers the man he’s been hired to impersonate is McKeown himself, the most hated/beloved pilot in the Universe (depending on whether you’re a space pilot or not, yourself). Worse yet is his employer — planet Earth’s foremost crime boss and grinning orange sociopath, Hendrickson!

What follows is our protagonist getting involved with pirates, cute carnivorous aliens, kidnappings and a hate-hate relationship with Miss Warden, the aforementioned smartly dressed woman. Add in a couple of kids, far too many cases of mistaken identity, and a series of events best described as “Out of the frying pan, into the fire, into the lava, and off for a walk on the surface of the sun,” and you get the plot of Will Save the Galaxy for Food.”


The protagonist lies somewhere between a slimy opportunist and a hero who’s lost his way in spectacular fashion. What is beyond a doubt is that he is an excellent pilot and a man prone to survive no matter the environment he’s thrown into.

Penelope Warden. A Terran, originally the caretaker and personal assistant to Henderson’s son, Daniel, Miss Warden is an ambitious young woman with a heart of ice and a face even colder.

Mr Henderson, an orange man with a grin on his face. Most powerful criminal ever, prone to hold a grudge if you do something as bad as looking at him when he’s not in the mood to be looked at. Probably stabs people in the eye with a screwdriver. Dotes on his boy, Daniel, who is a big weakness of his.

Daniel is a daft wee lad, embarrassed by his dear ol’ dad. Jacques McKeown’s biggest fan, possibly; certainly the most oblivious.

Jemima is Daniel’s crush and much more intelligent friend. She can be a bit of a teenage brat on occasion, but understandably so, being a teenage brat. Plus, there’s more to her than meets the eye!

I really had fun watching the kids struggle in particular, figuring out what the hell is happening.

On the whole, each character is well-written and works within the story, none of them feels redundant. They are entertaining on their own and create funny situations when interacting with one another, and what more could you wish for?


Witty, action-packed and clean. Brilliant use of similes, clever and hilarious style of writing. An undercurrent of sardonic wit runs through every page of the book, and it’s the main culprit for the hilarity and memorable characters and events.

What I enjoyed immensely has to do with my expectations and how this novel plays with them. When I picked this up, I was looking forward to a tongue-in-cheek satire of your common space adventure, and while I certainly got that, I’m also happy to say, “Will Save the Galaxy for Food” works as a genuinely entertaining adventure, too!


The ten and a half hours I spent listening to Yahtzee narrate the novel of his own making were a pleasure. His deadpan delivery had me burst into laughter no less than a dozen times throughout the book, which explains the perturbed cow-eyed looks several passengers on the bus gave me. And here I thought it was the bum bag.


You should pick this book up if you enjoy:

  • Sardonic wit, irony and dark humour.
  • Space adventures!
  • Yahtzee! The man, not the dice game, you moron. Come to think of it, the dice game, too, if only because reading this would entertain you a lot more than your everyday game of Yahtzee.
  • Fantastic narration (Audiobook-wise).
  • Believable speculative fiction. Yes, you heard me. Beneath all the laughter is a strong core that stands up to scrutiny and will leave you wanting for more.
  • An easy, relaxing read…
  • …nevertheless filled with great plot twists!


I can describe the novel–and have, above–in many ways, but at its heart, this space adventure is a comedy of errors. It will entertain you, make you laugh and you will feel for its characters over their numerous trials and tribulations. And at the end, you will be more than happy to have taken the tour.

P.S. I recommend you get the audiobook. It’s nothing short of fantastic if you didn’t get that from the eleven-hundred words above.

I just finished listening to Jam, as well. It’ll either get a review, or a recommendation. I have to hand it over to Jam, though…it has a hell of an opening line.  “I woke up one morning to discover that the entire city had been covered in a three-foot layer of man-eating jam.” Yup, we’ll have to talk about this one.



I know you’re trying to listen to the concert, but I have the right to talk, too!

Hey, you! Yes, you! The middle-aged lady in front, the one giving me an’ my friend here the stink-eye. And you, the much younger guy–is that a thing, now?

No, not getting into that. Look. I get it, you’ve come to enjoy the show, listen to Caro Emerald’s beautiful voice for an hour or two. Big whoop. I’m here for that too, you know! But–and this might surprise you, lady–I’ve got the right to talk as loud as I want!

Yeah, you heard that right. I don’t care if Caro’s amplifier-induced voice is struggling to keep up with my impressive decibels. And sure, you and every single one of the three hundred-some people just want to enjoy the concert in peace, but I have a very long day to discuss with Betsy here, and I’m not shutting up until I do!

But you know what? I really, really, don’t care about that look, and I don’t have to take your disapproval, oh no I don’t! And while I’m at it, tell you what, you can stick those criticisms up yours, lady!

Come on, Betsy, let’s find another spot to finish our chat!

(I was at a concert today, and it was great, but these two girls behind me and my mum had next to no clue on how to behave during an event like that one. But hey, this gives me an excellent opportunity to do a bit of humorous writing. Exercise those creative muscles and what-have-you.)

Book Recommendations: Moving Pictures (Discworld #11)

After Sir Terry Pratchett passed away, I thought to honour him by exploring his Discworld in a chronological order.

Moving Pictures was where my ten-book long Discworld reading spree came to an abrupt end, sometime in 2015–or was it 2016?–I really wish I’d recalled. Something about the beginning of this book didn’t click with me back then. It was a bit too slow, perhaps. Bit more set-up than sometimes, a weaker hook.

Whatever the reason, I am happy to say, I got over it and I’m back in the Discworld!

Moving Pictures is the first in the Discworld’s loosely-connected ‘Industrial Revolution’ books. Its topic could not be clearer!

The entire novel is, in a way, a riff on Hollywood. Holy Wood is a place, but it’s also an entity, personalized and ever-present. It dreams, it moves, it does things. Strange things, nearly Lovecraftian in their nature, but always very, very funny.

The characters are both newcomers and familiar faces: Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, who you can’t help but love whether you’ve encountered him in Guards! Guards! or not, plays the role of the big Holy Wood hot-shot producer/agent. His sleazy, perfectly selfish self is such a perfect fit for the role, too!

Our heroes are Victor, an apprentice wizard whose laziness is a thing of great beauty. Victor is the kind of clever wee lad that realizes all the dangers that come with being a wizard, and so he much prefers to stay apprentice. There’s also a favourite uncle’s inheritance in the mix, with a very specific clause to it; he’s the kind of clever protagonist I can get behind.

Ginger is a young girl from a village of milkmaids and cousins getting married. As you might expect, she’s not too excited about going back. Not that I’m judging all y’all cousin-marrying cousins in far-off milkmaid villages! You do you!

At any rate, Ginger quickly becomes the leading lady in all the Holy Wood ‘clicks’ and that’s where our two lovely young protagonists meet. What happens next includes trolls, old wizards pretending to be fake wizards in strange and ingenious ways, and horrible Things from Outside all reasonable existence.

Moving Pictures riffs on all things Hollywood, like action flicks, Disney movies (a bunch of sarcastic arsehole animals; a mouse, a cat, a grumpy old dog, and many more!), a constant, all-consuming lust for greater and more grandiose spectacles. It’s beyond funny, and I can’t recommend it enough.

At its core is an appreciation for the magic of film; a very different kind of magic from the traditional wizardly sort. Moving Pictures may not be among my favourite Discworld novels, but it is a treat that plays with a real-world concept in imaginative, funny ways.

If you like Pratchett, or cinema, or just enjoy sharp wit, you’ll want to pick this one up! I’ve gone out of my way to avoid spoilers and the plot, but don’t you worry — there’s plenty of it! That, and banged grains. Those go along quite well with those clicks the young people’re all about, nowadays.

Oh, and did I mention the Archchancellor-Bursar comedy duo? There’s a lot of laughter to be had every time the lens moves to Unseen University, what with these two going at each other’s throats like a married old couple.


Thank you for reading! I’m looking forward to writing about more of the Discworld novels as I read them chronologically, mostly. I’m skipping #11, which I’ve read, and heading straight to #12, Witches Abroad! Already 10% in, I’m thoroughly hooked!  

The Unintentionally Helpful Villain #17: Face-off! (Part 1 Finale!)

At last, I overcame my treacherous body-snatcher of an ex-wife!

I write this in mine own hand after mine magical quill refused to watch.

What madness had she concocted upon the land, upon my people, my great empire? Such questions did I ask myself as I sharpened poisonous, were-hare claws. Mine Legion of Librarians, once strong in number, now reduced to a mere few dozens all looked upon me, their faces taut with great joy.

Sven, my Prime Librarian went positively ashen in the face. Perhaps, seeing the young and loyal, and newly appointed, Head Librarian on mine majestic feminine heels made things clear to him, the disloyal cur!

But the thought of Sven, of anyone, vanished in an instant as I saw it. Mine glorious, majestic, magnificent body!

‘Wife!’ I screamed in her voice, quite prepared to defeat her with vocal might, alone.

She looked at me with what I perceived as fear, but now, upon great contemplation and use of mine great faculties, was relief. She ran towards me with this expression, the clatter of my beloved armor now a sound to fear. I half-crouched, ready to strike back at her.

Her/mine lips fell on mine/hers. (This whole business of body snatching confounds even mine great mind.)

Then, I was looking down on her, and I was back in the body that belonged to me, and once again I felt true power resting on mine fine, strangely lengthy fingers!

I studied her face, contemplating how best to dispose of her when she spoke.

‘Thank the gods you showed up! I didn’t think I would handle another day of this!’


‘Look…’ she sighed. ‘I’m sorry I stole your body and tried to usurp your empire. I realize now, ruling is no easy feat. All these decrees, edicts, pronouncements, they are a bore!’

She circled me, shifting like a panther as she walked towards Sven. ‘Besides, I… I don’t know how to tell you this, Maus, but I’ve fallen in love.’ She took his hand in hers, smiling at me. Brr, I felt the cold outside of the armour cool by a score degrees. ‘Besides, I never meant for this to be permanent. I just needed to know if you had the little monster locked away somewhere. Now that I know you don’t…’ she shrugged.

I had summoned mine spiked helmet — a fashion statement if ever there was one — but removed it. ‘I have very many little monsters, woman. Which one eludes my glorious collection?’

‘You really should cut the grandiloquence a bit, Your Darkness,’ her voice was rich with mockery, but she tilted her head, confused. ‘You really don’t remember?’

‘You better begin making sense, woman, else I’ll–‘

‘Our little monster? Don’t the words mean nothing to you?’

A faint memory shifted somewhere behind a door forced shut.

‘Have you really forgotten our daughter, you egomaniacal despot?!’

Huh. Words rolled out from my mouth in a metallic voice. ‘Well, former wife, you have had your fun. With this in mind, I reckon us two have had a good enough reunion not to force this for another century or few. Enjoy the lad with my most heartfelt good wishes!’

But she didn’t seem in a mind to enjoy anything too much at all as much as to pull my spine out of my mouth, and so I snapped my fingers and sent both her and Sven far, far away. Somewhere tropical, with loads of sharks, preferably. She’ll manage, no doubt, the minx.


I have a daughter. It’ll be mine. It’ll all be mine.


Well, that was a strange conclusion to a strange arc to a strange piece of really lazy fiction meant to mock fantasy tropes. I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and we’ll pick up with Part 2 soon!  -Ish.


Book Recommendation: Jhereg by Steven Brust

I took a big chunk of time of last October and November to re-read most of Steven Brust’s excellent Vlad Taltos novels. I loved the first few novels as a child when I had read them in Bulgarian. I must’ve been between nine-ten, maybe eleven when I first held Jhereg in my hands. It was a spellbinding experience, the kind that speaks to you on a very deep personal level.

But that was a long time ago.

I do a lot of writing — never as much as I want, and not always as much as I should. I’ve learned a lot about it from reading, naturally. The fact is, one of the major POV’s in my novel is in the first person. During ye olde case of writer’s block, I decided to revisit Jhereg, discover how my adult self would take to a book I loved as a child, and maybe even find out how it holds out.

What we love as kids, adulthood sometimes takes away.

But boy, is Jhereg good!

Vlad Taltos is an Easterner (read: human) in a world of humans (read: elves, or Dragaerans). He is a baronet in the Imperial House of Jhereg, but don’t let that fool you — the title’s been paid for with coin and means next to nothing. The Jhereg is one of seventeen Great Houses of the Dragaeran Empire. The Great House which deals in just about every illegal thing you could think of — gambling, prostitution, assassination and so much more!

Vlad Taltos is an Easterner, and a Jhereg, and he’s a small-time boss of a small-time criminal organization, which owns several districts worth of criminal activities (read gambling dens, restaurants and whorehouses) in the capital city of Adrilanka. He’s pretty good at maintaining his business, for an Easterner, considering their life spans.

Vlad Taltos is the head of security to Morrolan E’Drien, a Dragon and close friend to the Empress, and the single Dragaeran to have a floating castle in the air. It’s called Castle Black, and the colour of magic is Black, and that says something for Morrolan, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Castle Black just so happens to be the safest place in the Empire, unless you’ve got the Imperial Orb looking out for you.

Vlad Taltos also happens to be a killer for hire, and that, most would argue, is where his real talents lie. He’s not a spectacular fighter — although he can hold his own — so much as he’s exceptionally crafty and very, refreshingly clever. The fencing and witchcraft he picked up from his grandfather don’t hurt one bit when handling the larger and stronger Dragaerans, used to a more brutal sort of fighting by far.

Vlad Taltos just so happens to get hired for the most complex job he’s ever had to perform. To kill a member of the Jhereg’s own Council, a member who’s done away with the House’s coffers. A man whose tenacity might very well surpass that of Vlad’s — for this man is a guest of Morrolan E’Drien and the Lord of Castle Black lets no one harm his guests.

The clock is ticking — and if Vlad doesn’t take care of the problem, two mighty Houses go to war. One is the House of some of Vlad’s closest friends, and the other is his own.


It’s a great book, worth every minute, every cent. A great starting point to a rich world filled with colourful characters and hours of action and tear-jerking comedy. This book reads like a detective story; the way Vlad works is very much like an investigator, and the books are all the better for it. Steven Brust’s use of language is beyond comparison.

But hey, I’m subjective. I love Vlad. Don’t take my word for it — check it out for yourself!


Thanks for reading! I’ll see you next time! Any books you’d like me to read and share my opinion on? Let me know in the comments! A like would also be appreciated! 



Saturday Night Gaming: Talking about Narrative in a Life is Strange, Before the Storm Review

Oh, look! I’m going to talk about talking about games! Bit redundant, if you ask me, but I ain’t the one who decides what goes up on the blog, am I?

What do you mean I am? I-I am?

Welp. There goes that excuse.

Anyway, I’m hard at work at a video review for Before the Storm, the prequel to the excellent Life is Strange(2015), and I’ve been wondering whether the way I decided to go about making the video is right and proper.

How did I go about writing the video?

I spilled the beans about what happens during the game. Step by step, I do my best to present the thread of the story, along with my take on it, what impression major choices left me with, and the like.

I could’ve gone another direction — like most review sites, I could’ve chosen to keep mum about the details of the story, could’ve talked about how the general lack of fantastic elements and the time travel mechanic grounds the story in reality and whether that’s a good thing, or a bad one; I could’ve probably spent a good five-ten minutes on that, while keeping generally vague on any significant plot points.

The thing is, I want to talk about the story. With what the narrative does right, with that one topic it handles wrong. I want to give my viewers — all fourteen of them — concrete, honest thoughts.

That’ll probably eat in whatever tiny number of people would consider watching a 30+ minute video by a no one on YouTube, and that’s alright. I don’t make these videos to please anyone but myself.

If anyone ends up watching along the way — brilliant!

If not…That’s alright, too!

Thank you for reading. Before the Storm is brilliant, by the way, even if the post ended up being less about the game and more about my review-to-be about the game! Hope you’ll check it out when I post it on Monday! 


Book Recommendation: So, Anyway. . .

Autobiographies haven’t always agreed with me.

Granted, I have attempted to read a very limited number of books in this particular genre, and have finished considerably less than I’ve started. So, why…So, Anyway…?

I’ll share a secret with you — I really am quite fond of John Cleese. He’s a brilliant comedian, a part of some of the funniest British comedy troupes — and Monty Python, most of all. He is terribly clever, he’s intelligent, introspective and insightful. Most of all — and that, you’ll learn, is what matters most to him — he is funny!

So, Anyway… is not the kind of autobiography the author uses as a way to inform his readers of numerous slights and affronts they’ve suffered through, nor is it an unchecked ego trip. Lucky for me, since I’m no fan of digging for old dirt.  John Cleese chooses to go at this whole autobiographical business from a much more pleasant angle, and even when he’s critical towards old acquaintances and friends, he does it with such absurdity and good humor that it’s difficult to fault.

Who is this book for?

  • If you’ve ever loved anything John Cleese has had a hand in writing, you will enjoy witnessing his growth, from a pampered little daddy’s boy with a ‘precious thumb’  to a clumsy young man, to someone who eventually grows comfortable with success. Mostly.
  • Are you interested in, or already writing comedy? You’ll find a lot to learn, parts of the book can be read, or listened to, as a master class in comedy.
  • Do you enjoy humour that doesn’t ask you to lock your intelligence away somewhere in order to get the full experience?

The audiobook version

Is voiced by John Cleese himself, and excellent. He cracks up multiple times, which is hilarious. The fact that he enjoys recalling, reliving these memories is nothing short of contagious. If you enjoy audiobooks, you simply must get it!


Don’t take my words for any of it, read these here quotes from a couple of humorous remembrances of John’s:

“Mother told me once that some Westonians privately criticised Dad for retreating so soon. They apparently felt it would have been more dignified to have waited a week or so before running away. I think this view misses the essential point of running away, which is to do it the moment the idea has occurred to you. Only an obsessional procrastinator would cry, “Let’s run for our lives, but not till Wednesday afternoon.”

“The Germans were a people famous for their efficiency, so why would they drop perfectly good bombs on Weston-super-Mare, when there was nothing in Weston that a bomb could destroy that could possibly be as valuable as the bomb that destroyed it?
The Germans did return, however, and several times, which mystified everyone. Nevertheless I can’t help thinking that Westonians actually quite liked being bombed: it gave them a significance that was otherwise lacking from their lives. But that still leaves the question why would the Hun have bothered? Was it just Teutonic joi de vivre? Did the pilots mistake the Weston seafront for the Western Front? I have heard it quite seriously put forward by older Westonians that it was done at the behest of William Joyce, the infamous “Lord Haw-Haw”, who was hanged as a traitor in 1944 by the British for making Nazi propaganda broadcasts to Britain during the war. When I asked these amateur historians why a man of Irish descent who was born in Brooklyn would have such an animus against Weston that he would buttonhole Hitler on the matter, they fell silent. I prefer to believe that it was because of a grudge held by Reichsmarschall Hermann Goering on account of an unsavoury incident on Weston pier in the 1920s, probably involving Noel Coward and Terence Rattigan.
My father’s explanation, however, makes the most sense: he said the Germans bombed Weston to show that they really do have a sense of humour.”

“British journalists tend to believe that people who become good at something do so because they seek fame and fortune. This is because these are the sole motives of people who become British journalists. But some people, operating at higher levels of mental health, pursue activities because they actually love them.”

“Yes, I know it’s easy to make fun of the organised churches, but has it occurred to anyone to wonder why it’s so easy?”

“I found Toronto an immensely likeable city, spacious and gentle and slightly dignified, but in a low-key, friendly way. The only people who didn’t seem to think much of it were its inhabitants, who could hardly wait for you to ask directions, because that gave them the perfect opportunity to apologise for it. What they were apologising for I never understood. I think they felt uninteresting, compared with America. I took the opposite view; I remember reading about the doctrine of American “Exceptionalism” and thinking that what I liked so much about Canadians was that they consider themselves unexceptional. This modest, unthreatening attitude seems to produce a nation that is stable, safe, decent and well respected. It’s just a shame that for seven months of the year it’s so cold that only Canadians would put up with it.”

“One minute, I was saying, “Hello, Mr. Bunny!” and smiling at its sweet little face and funny floppy ears. The next, the fucker savaged me.”

My apologies, I might’ve slightly overdone it with the quotes. There’s so many more I would like to share with you all, but the quotes are already quite a bit longer than my own review, and so I will resist the impulse.


What a wonderful autobiography. Filled with self-depreciation, a healthy dose of dislike for overt political correctness and a genuine love for comedy, ‘So, Anyway. . . ‘ is a funny, compelling look at a portion of John Cleese’s life.

If I had any complaints, they would have to do with the somewhat abrupt ending and the fact that a fairly large period between Monty Python and the reunion tour is left blank. The hope remains for a second book, then!

The Score

Five out of Five Black Stars.

Thank you for reading!