Sunday ComiX – The Uncanny X-Villains: Difficult to Kill Edition

Sundays are for…taking the reins of the Dwarven faction in Warhammer: Total War, and breaking Orkish skulls with…well, warhammers. Obviously.

Sundays are also for discussing the sinister, the apocalyptic, the downright vile villains of the X-Men comic books!

Now that I’ve used my three-pun limit for the day, we can dispense with the pleasantries and get down to it!

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En Sabah Nur, aka Apocalypse: One of the world’s first mutants, and the only one who takes the whole ‘Survival of the fittest’ theory way too serious, Apocalypse is as nasty as he looks — and he looks like…gosh, I don’t even know; at any rate, no one is quite certain of what it is that Apocalypse does; other than survive, that is; the guy’s been mulched, squished, disintegrated, thrown off buildings, shot with a variety of futuristic guns and optic blasts, as well as a virtually endless list of superpowers…and yet he’s still ruler of a ridiculous number of future timelines!

Neat!

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Nathaniel Essex, aka Mr. Sinister: The single greatest threat to X-Men continuity…if we discount about a dozen other characters, Nathaniel Essex is a brilliant Victorian scientist, sworn to help mutants in their hour of grea–just kidding! Mr. Sinister is a twisted psychopath, who’s unlocked the secret to immortality and can basically control and rearrange his body in whatever ways he desires– oh, and he uses clones on a basis that makes even Doctor Doom and his Doombots groan; how unfortunate for the X-Men that he’s got a hobby of prodding them like cattle, and then experimenting on them without any moral quandary!

He’s also got a thing for Scott Summers, having manipulated him for most of Cyclops’ life.

Sweet!

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Sebastian Gilberti, aka Bastion: The love-baby of mutant-hunting robot “Master Mold” and advanced killer robot “Nimrod,” Bastion is all about killing mutants; surprise, surprise, that didn’t win him any popularity with the X-Men, and he was eventually disintegrated by Hope Summers, a very special mutant that’s fallen out of focus after being the center of half a dozen events; but, surprise-surprise again, he didn’t actually die–he teleported into the future, severely damaged!

Who needs Deus Ex Machina when you’ve got a time Machina, eh?!

Y’know what? I think that I’ll be preparing a special robot-centered issue of Sunday ComiX, to familiarize you all with the numerous murder-robots that occasionally duke it out with the loveable X-People!

 

Sunday ComiX: Kitty Pryde and the Scary X-Lady!

Sundays are for–What do you mean, they’re not for poking fun at everyone’s favorite team of mutant misfits, the X-Men? Of Course They Are!

Today’s focus is — you guessed it! — set on one of my most favorite X-Women, Kitty Pryde.

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Kitty Pryde, aka Spryte, aka Shadowcat, aka about fifty other code names: This one, she’s got loads of things going for her — Kitty started out as the clever smaller sister of the X-Men, and particularly of a newly grown-up Illyana Rasputin;  she was the youngest X-Men at the time of her introduction by Chris Cleremont in the 70’s; Kitty rose to be one of the best and brightest graduates of Xavier’s, and currently leads nearly all the X-Men (!); her greatest feats include saving the entire planet from a gigantic planet-killing space bullet (look upwards…yeah), and is an absolute joy to read about in nearly every comic book you pick up.

She was also Star-Lord’s girlfriend, and Star-Lord.

Yeah.

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Lockheed, aka Lockheed, aka…wait, I’m just doing this by force of habit now;

Lockheed is the dragon companion to Kitty Pryde; he once imagined Kitty as a female dragon, and she imagined him as a human male so make of it what you will — what makes the situation even slightly more complicated is that Kitty was 14-15 at the time; kinky!

He will become a full-grown and intimidating draconic horror someday, but is currently a mixture of cute and downright sociopathic!

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Emma Frost, aka The White Queen: Started out as one of the more persistent and powerful enemies of the X-Men, on account of being telepathic — the diamond form you see in the picture above is a secondary mutation, triggered about the time she joined the X-Men, some 20(~ish) years ago; Kitty loathed her and still is very antagonistic towards Emma, and for good reason; Frost used to run an evil version of the Xavier Institute and Kitty was to be one of the first students there…unfortunately, things didn’t quite go according to the plan, and Kitty joined the X-Men, thus cementing a powerful grudge between two scary powerful mutants!

Also, the picture above actually shows Emma clothed a bit too properly for her tastes. This is how she started off looking:

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I wish my schoolteachers dressed like that.

On second thought — better that they didn’t!

Sunday ComiX: The Morally Ambiguous (Sometime) X-Men!

Sundays are for…struggling with the morality of questionable characters who occasionally take part in the X-Men roster!

Bit of a stretch? Oh, well. Let’s start it off with my most favorite character in comic books, drum roll, please…

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Max Eisenhardt aka Erik Magnus Lensherr aka MAGNETO, MASTER OF MAGNETISM: Absolute madman, whose POWERS OVER MAGNETISM™ can allow him to do just about anything you can think of, at this point; enjoys spending time with strong, independent women, killing Nazis, and forging a better world for all mutants.

He’s the best.

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Victor Creed, aka Sabretooth: Like Wolverine, but more of a kitten, and meaner; except when Wolverine is dead — then, Sabretooth ends up filling his shoes…weird, I know; something about losing your best worst frenemy and changing your ways and whatnot; I couldn’t tell you what it’s all about, nope.

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Raven Darkholme aka Mystique: Think of her as an evil, shape-shifting Black Widow without any of the morality  (yup, I went there); she got married to Charles Xavier at some point recently and no one knows how that happened; also, Mystique doesn’t hold onto most grudges, on account of her brain subtly changing whenever she shifts, her personality and memories with it; she’s slept with most mutants in the X-Men universe in one reality or another, and for good reason.

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James Bradley aka Dr. Nemesis: This one is a lot less popular, but has been playing an on and off-again supporting role in several X-Men comic books over the past decade; he’s a scientist who was born in the dawn of the 20th century; here’s where it gets complicated because it was Dr. Nemesis himself that delivered the Dr. Nemesis baby…time travel is complicated and ridiculous and I love it; he and Magneto share love for hunting Nazis, and also, he’s intelligent enough to increase his longevity!

Fascinating man, this one. Wonder what delivering yourself does to you…

 

Well, that’s it for today’s Sunday Comix X-Men Definitions! Watch out for more next week!

 

Sunday ComiX: Defining the X-Men, Vol. 02 — The Second(ish) Generation

Sundays are for my favorite activity – Defining the X-Men in a sentence!

This week’s picks are some of the most important, influential and beloved of all X-Men characters…as well as some less-known characters, which never the less have great importance within the X-Men continuum!

Hold on to yo butts!

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Lorna Dane, aka Polaris: Magneto’s daughter who inherited his magnetic powers, somewhat questionable fashion sense, and occasional homicidal tendencies!

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Alex Summers aka Havok: Cyclops’ smaller brother who’s got similar powers and better hair but a worse taste in sunglasses; hates being called the M-word. (See picture on the bottom of this post.)

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Kurt Wagner aka Nightcrawler: Looks like a demon of Hell; is in fact a swashbuckling gentleman who’s the emotional heart of any X-Men team he’s in; used to be dead, no longer is.

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Pyotr Rasputin aka Colossus: The nicest Russian guy in the world; constantly battles Magneto despite his mutant power turning him into solid metal.

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Ororo Munroe aka Storm: Street rat worshipped as a goddess in Egypt as soon as her mutation activates — because what else can someone who controls the weather amidst the desert be?

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Sean Cassidy aka Banshee: Very Irish, very self-descriptive alias and also — very dead.

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Shiro Yoshida, aka Sunfire: Bit of an arsehole, I reckon, and not much of a team player at all.

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Thunderbird: He dead.

 

There we go with this week’s installment of Sunday Comix! Short, concise and to the douchebaggy point, in Sunfire and Thunderbird’s cases, anyway. Hope you enjoyed and looking forward to seeing you next week for some more one-sentence description of my favorite superhero team! 

Here’s your bonus Havok/Cyclops image, courtesy of the Internet:

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Sunday Comix – Defining the X-Men in a sentence, Vol. 01

Sundays are for…defining comic book characters in a single ridiculous sentence!

It seems only right to start off this incredible, mind-blowing series with the original five X-Men! But what kind of a monster would I be if I didn’t start off with the most overused and well- known Canadian runt in the entire multiverse?!

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James Howlett, aka ‘Wolverine’: Let’s face it… He is your favorite mutant murder-uncle.

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Scott Summers aka ‘Cyclops’: He was the major douche in the 90’s animated series and everybody hated him, except that now he’s super awesome and also dead.*

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Jean Grey, aka ‘Marvel Girl’, aka ‘the Phoenix’: She had no personality for a while there, other than being the token girl in the X-Team, and then she died; only it wasn’t her, it was her clone, and she turned out alive and alright, only she died; and then she left a phoenix egg and got revived in the future; only it never happened; and then someone *wiggles finger at Hank McCoy* decided to bring back young Jean Grey from the past into the present/future, and she finally exhibited what psychologists call… a ‘personality.’

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Hank McCoy, aka ‘Beast’: Big, furry man turned big furry man-thing, all too clever for his own good, and prone to venturing on morally-grey territory one time too many.

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Robert ‘Bobby’ Drake, aka ‘Iceman’: The cool younger kid-turned with cocky personality and retconned sexuality which served to anger some; to be fair, there have long been signs.

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Warren Worthington III, aka ‘Angel,’ aka ‘Archangel’: Thinks he’s a literal angel, except when he’s Archangel — then, he’s just a kind-of cool dick who’s also a Horseman of Apocalypse.
Y’know…the X-Men are weird. I love it! The absolute mess that’s their fifty-something year long continuity is such fun, and I ought to do a lot more comic-related content on this blog! If only time were to allow it…

*These two things don’t necessarily go together, but I understand why you’d think that they do, if you watched the 90’s TAS.