Top Ten Things I would not do if I were an Evil Fantasy Overlord

1. I would not put a critical part of myself and my power into a trinket, then lose it, and allow free access to the only place that holds the means of destroying the bloody bauble.
2. I would not summon any dark gods or arch demons in order to usurp their power, unless I know for sure that I’m up for the task. These creeps are dangerous.
3. I would not kill every single incompetent officer in my army; I’d much rather demote them. An Evil Overlord’s army is always in need of grunts, and fodder.
4. I would not poison the land and turn it barren; I intend to rule, and that requires food, as well as subjects to feed.
5. I would not rush into a battle without my honor guard, no matter how intimidating and powerful I may seem. Heroes have the tendency to make the worst out of great situations like this, and I ain’t losing my fingers to broken swords like *some* I could name…
6. I would not prepare a needlessly convoluted method of execution for my most dangerous enemies. Incineration was good enough for Joan of Arc, it’ll have to do for everyone else, too.
7. I would not subscribe to any vindictive revenge fantasies that will result in my unfortunate death.
8. I would not enforce any caste systems.
9. I would not deter any caste systems.
10. I would not marry someone who is only marginally less powerful than me. Power couples have a way of exploding, and not in a good way…
11. I would not overdo the virgin sacrifices. Okay, maybe just a little.

My bi-weekly Top Ten lists were originally inspired by Peter’s Evil Overlord List; my first entry is centered around the Evil Fantasy Overlord in order to honor that list and its maker! The next installment, “Top Ten Things I would NOT do if I were an Evil Fantasy Overlord,” will be out on Friday!

Oh, and why 11, when I said Top Ten? It’s because I like to go one step above and beyond!

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