Top Ten Things I would NOT do if I were a middle-aged Villager in a High Fantasy setting

1. I would NOT tolerate the cruel and petty nobility (if that’s what they are), and would instead take arms against the vile scum! Viva la revolución! (That’s peasant for ‘kill the lords of the land!’)
2. I would NOT be disheartened by the supposed villainy of my lord ruler, if he has shown himself merciful and understanding towards me and my fellow villagers. PR makes good masters look bad, and the cruel ones – bad!
3. I would NOT find my courage only in a bottle. Bottles are bad places to keep one’s courage, no matter what the press tells you.
4. I would NOT treat my sons like slobs of meat. That’s good pretext for some patricide right there.
5. I would NOT treat my daughters like gold coins, trading them to curry favour with the rich merchant next door, or with the unpleasant nobleman with peculiar nightly hobbies.
6. I would NOT refuse any help to strangers in need, but I won’t solicit it, either. Who knows what man or woman I might allow into my poor village hovel?
7. I would NOT set out to be an annoying villager. You know the type – they always chase after others, murmuring about village law, and the rules, and how stuff ought to be…No one likes those. No one!
8. I would NOT discuss my mysterious past with anyone. Even a villager has a right to privacy!
9. I would NOT go investigatin’ strange noises during a blood-lit full moon. That’s just askin’ for trouble; no sir-e, thank you very much!
10. I would NOT be angry if my sons didn’t want to follow in my footsteps. For as long as at least one did. Someone has to inherit the farm… The old lady needs to be taken care of, after all!

4 thoughts on “Top Ten Things I would NOT do if I were a middle-aged Villager in a High Fantasy setting

  1. To be perfectly fair, you do live in 2017 but I get your point completely. Although, when deciding on the technology level, social level and ‘time frame’, those characteristics suit the people unless there is an explained reason against it within the rules of the world 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heh, you’re very right!

      Still, I can’t help but poke fun at that, from today’s perspective.

      A lot of good fantasy works exactly because those characteristics suit the people – Sanderson’s Mistborn is one such setting that clicks precisely because of what you brought up!

      Liked by 1 person

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